Tagged with personal

6 Hours In Hell

My record for shortest employment use to be thirty days when I was seventeen. Now, at the age of thirty-six I have beat that record. Recently, I lasted one day-six hours to be exact, at a resort with a great ocean view. Just to be clear, I quit. To date I have never been fired from a … Continue reading

Things I Should Do In 2014

NOT RESOLUTIONS   1. Purchase a purple zip up hoodie. Reason: I love purple. Why do I not have one already? 2. Stop watching the VH1 reality show Mob Wives. Reason: By the end of every episode I have an overwhelming urge to get angry over nothing and punch someone in the face. And to pace around screaming, … Continue reading

The Grim Reaper Makes For A Strange Best Friend

Rapid heartbeat, can’t breathe, nausea, vomiting, sweating, light-headed, arms tingling, and entire body shaking. Oh shit! What is this?! Sitting up in bed I grab my laptop. Google all of the above. Oh Gawwwd! HEART ATTACK. August 5, 2012  4:00 am My husband wakes up because I start making some sort of whining, oh Lord I’m gonna … Continue reading

Adventures With My BFF The Whore

“Trina, we’re walking over blood.” “Yeah, I know, just don’t think about it.” Here we are, a 180 pound, 15-year-old white girl, (me) and a 200 pound, 15-year-old, black girl, walking deep in the heart of a bad neighborhood at midnight. Luckily, back in 1993 I could sometimes pass for a pale mexican, with dark … Continue reading

Maniacal Musings

— A flexing anus in my face. Nails trying to claw my eyes out. The dogs. They are the only alarm clock I need. — No matter how many times I look up the word “necessary” I cannot retain its correct spelling. Spellcheck just fixed it, again. My brain is holding some sort of grudge … Continue reading

Confessions Of A Maniacal Girl With A Good Heart

1. Dear any and all future grocery line participants, Stop finding it necessary to be assholes. Why do you have an urge to make comments about a strangers purchases. If you’re standing behind someone in line only use your god given brain to think of ways to not be a douchebag. Please control your uncivilized ways, and refrain … Continue reading

Top Aggros This Week #2

In no particular order… 1. Makers of the Playstation 3: We recently joined the rest of the universe and bought a PS3 and it does not play Playstation 2 games, but will play some of the original Playstation games. Smarty pantsies who make this shit, that doesn’t make any type of goddamn sense. I would … Continue reading

Assault On The Precious

My husband recently purchased this exercise bike for the household. I thought it was the greatest idea since sliced bread. I’m gonna get my workout ON as easy as 1-2-3, A-B-C! (Said with ghetto twang) All I have to do now is: -Get up in the morning -Take the kid to school -Take care of the … Continue reading