Tagged with Personal Experience

Maniacal Musings Part Three

1. In October I came across a television show called, “The People’s Couch” on the Bravo channel. For thirty minutes I watched people, watching T.V., and having exaggerated reactions to reality and scripted shows. It was inane. This show was based on a U.K. program called, “Gogglebox,” which I hope was in some way more … Continue reading

Maniacal Musings Part Two

1. Don’t you hate it when your ex husband asks to live with you and your current husband, because he sucks at having his shit together? I know I do. And then out of the saintly-ness of you and your husbands heart you agree, but then you end up chasing him out like this… Buh-Bye! 2. … Continue reading

SMTWTFS

At thirty-five years old I’ve become that person. I have one prescribed pill and until a week ago I was doing fine remembering to take it. Then, it happened. What every person with prescription medication fears, “Did I take my medication?” “Shit.” “Did I take my medication!?” It’s thirty minutes past the scheduled time. Panic … Continue reading

The Grim Reaper Makes For A Strange Best Friend

Rapid heartbeat, can’t breathe, nausea, vomiting, sweating, light-headed, arms tingling, and entire body shaking. Oh shit! What is this?! Sitting up in bed I grab my laptop. Google all of the above. Oh Gawwwd! HEART ATTACK. August 5, 2012  4:00 am My husband wakes up because I start making some sort of whining, oh Lord I’m gonna … Continue reading

Adventures With My BFF The Whore

“Trina, we’re walking over blood.” “Yeah, I know, just don’t think about it.” Here we are, a 180 pound, 15-year-old white girl, (me) and a 200 pound, 15-year-old, black girl, walking deep in the heart of a bad neighborhood at midnight. Luckily, back in 1993 I could sometimes pass for a pale mexican, with dark … Continue reading

Twat Tales

When you’ve taken an $8.99 pregnancy test from Target or the one from a Ninety-Nine Cents Store (Which I have bought and used before) and it comes out positive, your next step is to get it professionally done. By, like, you know, experts in the field of pregnant humans. Since I didn’t have any medical … Continue reading

Evil Creatures

To be serious about my health/weight loss kick, I may have to consider counting calories and carbohydrates. Now for someone like me who loathes math in all forms, counting anything is mental torture. If someone had a gun to my head, and started a statement with, “Billy was at a train station…” And ended that statement … Continue reading

10 Confessions Of A Heavy Housewife

1. Once again I’m determined to lose weight and live a healthier life style. I vow to workout at least five days a week, and vacuuming, scrubbing the toilet, and folding laundry totally count. As a matter of fact lets also add pleasuring my husband as a legit workout. 2. After ordering two of Jillian … Continue reading

Spam In A Can: A Love Story

Many people have yet to try this freakish godsend of Spam in a can. Just the mere mention of the word Spam to some people will bring on an over exaggerated mimicking of the vomiting process. My husband is one of those people. To some I say, don’t knock it ’till you try it, and … Continue reading

My Heinous Guilty Pleasure: Reality Shows

In the 90’s I started watching The Real World like so many other innocent T.V. viewers.  Years later in the early 2000’s a little show called Survivor hit the air waves. Bit by bit more reality shows popped up like Big Brother and American Idol. Each show having its own niche. After the first seasons … Continue reading