Tagged with Humor

Me Giving Health Advice?

Today I had the urge to talk about food substitutions. A Bad Substitution (Yes, in my opinion): Aspartame Aspartame is an artificial sweetener used as a sugar substitute in some foods and beverages. You’ll find people who believe this is harmful to your health, and then you’ll find others who say it’s fine and dandy. … Continue reading

Top Aggros This Week #2

In no particular order… 1. Makers of the Playstation. We recently joined the rest of the universe and bought a PS3 and it does not play Playstation 2 games, but will play some of the original Playstation games. Smarty pantsies who make this shit, that doesn’t make any type of goddamn sense. I would like … Continue reading

Assault On The Precious

I recently purchased an exercise bike. All I have to do now is: -Get up in the morning -Take the kid to school -Take care of the dogs -Have coffee -Then hop on, and peddle away these pesky pounds! Well, almost instantly I had regrets. I haven’t been on any kind of bike in donkey’s … Continue reading

You Think Your Job Sucks?

I’m standing in front of a toaster. (Intrigued yet?) Oh, it’s also the size of a mammoth, and it’s one of the most medieval devices I’ve personally come across in my life. This large rusty metal contraption rotates about 40 pieces of bread at once, and gives birth to toast after a few rotations. The … Continue reading

Evil Creatures

To be serious about my health/weight loss kick, I may have to consider counting calories and carbohydrates. Now for someone like me who loathes math in all forms, counting anything is mental torture. If someone had a gun to my head, and started a statement with, “Billy was at a train station…” And ended that … Continue reading

Do They Put Meth in Vitamins?

Yesterday, I felt like I had been on my vitamin regiment for a week, but I checked where I marked the calendar, and it had only been 3 days. I then wondered if I was a time travelling demon, because I could have sworn it had been a full week. Anyhow, I can already feel … Continue reading

10 Confessions Of A Heavy Housewife

1. Once again I’m determined to lose weight and live a healthier life style. I vow to workout at least five days a week, and vacuuming, scrubbing the toilet, and folding laundry totally count. As a matter of fact lets add cooking dinner as legit exercise. 2. I ordered two of Jillian Michaels exercise dvd’s … Continue reading

What We All Need Less Of In 2012…In My Opinion

Let’s start with less of these things in 2012: – The never-ending black hole of celebrity news and the convoluted media. – Reality show personalities getting rich for being train wrecks. I do not want to-be-all-up-in any celebrities personal business. And no one else should want to be either. I don’t give a bleep if … Continue reading

Spam In A Can: A Love Story

Many people have yet to try the godsend of Spam in a can. Just the mere mention of the word Spam to some people will bring on an over exaggerated mimicking of vomiting. To these people I say, don’t knock it ’till you try it, and as much as I don’t understand it, a few … Continue reading

Craigslist Buffoonery

Currently I’m selling a few household items on Craigslist for extra cash with the bonus of knowing I’m not attached to all of my possessions like a hoarder. This runs in the family so I like to check on myself from time to time. I’m good. Anyways, even when I’m not using it as an … Continue reading

Top Things That Make Me Aggro This Week

I feel another list coming on…in no particular order 1. The wind machine the television show Xfactor annoyingly uses during almost every performance. Even on the guys for Christ sakes! You do not have the “Xfactor” just because you can tolerate artificial wind in your face. It’s not the contestants fault but the peeps in … Continue reading