Filed under Personal Experience/Humor

Confessions Of A Maniacal Girl With A Good Heart

1. Dear any and all future grocery line participants, Stop finding it necessary to be assholes. Why do you have an urge to make comments about a strangers purchases. If you’re standing behind someone in line only use your god given brain to think of ways to not be a douchebag. Please control your uncivilized ways, and refrain … Continue reading

Top Aggros This Week #2

In no particular order… 1. Makers of the Playstation 3: We recently joined the rest of the universe and bought a PS3 and it does not play Playstation 2 games, but will play some of the original Playstation games. Smarty pantsies who make this shit, that doesn’t make any type of goddamn sense. I would … Continue reading

Assault On The Precious

My husband recently purchased this exercise bike for the household. I thought it was the greatest idea since sliced bread. I’m gonna get my workout ON as easy as 1-2-3, A-B-C! (Said with ghetto twang) All I have to do now is: -Get up in the morning -Take the kid to school -Take care of the … Continue reading

When Did I Start Using Meth?

Yesterday, I felt like I had been on my vitamin regiment for a week, but I checked where I marked the calendar, and it had only been 3 days. I then wondered if I was a time travelling demon, because I could have sworn it had been a full week. Anyhow, I can already feel … Continue reading

Graveyard Shift Memories

Actual Word for Word Writings While at Work: October 3, 1998 2:26am Why are there so many cars out right now? I’m cold, tired, and bored. I’m sitting here in my little chair, staring out my hopefully bulletproof glass windows. Oh my goodness, a car pulls in. A white hoopty is driving from pump to … Continue reading

Graveyard Shift Memories

  At least once every two weeks someone drives off with the gas pump nozzle still in their tanks. The first time I witnessed this I thought it would be the last time as well. One fluke by someone with their head up their ass. Not the case. That is all. Well maybe not all… … Continue reading

Graveyard Shift Memories

  One night a 400 lb, at least, man asks for a pack of lubricated condoms and a jar of vaseline. Behind him cleaning the windows of the car he stepped out of, is a man 120 lbs wet. These are not two guys who are going clubbin’ to score some fine female ass. I’m sincerely concerned … Continue reading

Graveyard Shift Memories

WTF I Just Have To LMAO: It’s a seemingly average boring night, and monotony is in abundance. During a dead hour, when no cars or people seem to be out; two cars pull into the parking lot. At first glance, it’s just a baby exchange. The father hands over the precious bundle to the mother, … Continue reading