SMTWTFS

At thirty-five years old I’ve become that person. I have one prescribed pill and until a week ago I was doing fine remembering to take it. Then, it happened. What every person with prescription medication fears, “Did I take my medication?”

“Shit.”

Did I take my medication!?”

It’s thirty minutes past the scheduled time. Panic rises in my chest and my brain is frantically trying to recall every step I took since getting out of bed. But all I remember is eating a banana, one of the dogs puked, and a woman, who needs to learn parking lot etiquette, pissed me off at my daughter’s school.

Wait…wait…when did I start this new bottle? Oh crap, this is gonna be like math, and the math Gods did not smile upon me when I was born. Everything numeral gives me a burning sensation in odd places.

Let’s see, I had two pills left from a previous bottle when I picked up this one from the pharmacy. I started this bottle on this day, and it started out with thirty pills. Okay, so, I should probably count how many pills are left in the bottle. Sooooooooo, um, I’m 98% sure I didn’t take it.

I wondered if skipping a dose would produce the worst side effects, or doubling a dose. My brief research (Googling) concluded it would be double dosing. I popped a pill feeling confident with my 98% sure-ity.

Everything was fine and that night I told my husband about my afternoon crisis. The next day he says he has a present for me and produces this –

017

I’m also using it for vitamins, but my husband shouldn’t use the word “present” so loosely. “Present” indicates a wrapped item that’s sole purpose is to evoke joy or at the very least makes your face change expressions. This was more like, here I bought you something at the drugstore. Enjoy.

It’s just like coming home with whitening toothpaste and calling it a present. It’s a useful item but not exactly bringing on the gift giddiness. Bless his heart. But it has proven quite useful. All I have to do is remember I have a pill box and what day of the week it is, because God forbid I completely forget about Thursday and wake up on Friday thinking it was Thursday and then…um………shit.

WTF FML

P.S. I am not ashamed I had to watch this Youtube video on subtracting mixed numbers http://youtu.be/tVrelLu6K6k to help my daughter with her 4th grade homework. I don’t remember doing anything like this in the 4th grade. I actually don’t remember doing this at all. But I do have a talent for going into a math induced coma whenever too many numbers are being thrown in my face. Or, I need to put some ginkgo biloba in my pill box to help my dusty thirty-five year old memory.

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7 thoughts on “SMTWTFS

  1. I think I should hate you and your thirty-five year old memory as it reminds me I’m getting on for double that and my pill box is 1,2,3,4 across as well as SMTWTFS down. I also have one like yours to take out in case I eat out anywhere. I STILL manage to forget !! I get up in a morning to take my meds and find the previous night is still full.All I can do is drop them in the bin and hope anyone thinks I took them. Good luck when it’s your turn .
    xx Hugs xx

  2. This is hysterical. I know exactly how you feel mixing up the T’s for Tuesday and Thursday. I actually missed my first college class because it was spelled TR, which I thought meant Thursday. It turns out it meant Tuesday (T) and Thursday (R). Nice post.

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