In no particular order…
1. Makers of the Playstation 3: We recently joined the rest of the universe and bought a PS3 and it does not play Playstation 2 games, but will play some of the original Playstation games. Smarty pantsies who make this shit, that doesn’t make any type of goddamn sense. I would like to add, thanks for the streaming Netflix ability. It really…well…doesn’t suck.
2. Uninvited Acquaintance Door Knockers: Do not hop, skip, jump, walk, or drive your happy ass to my front door on a Saturday morning if we are not true homies, and you have not given me a heads up. Actually, if you refuse to call ahead, or have not been invited, then I suggest you do not perform this “bad for your health” act on any day of the week. Courtesy is quite easy to look up on Dictionary.com. I say that because I fear a lot of homes do not have a physical Dictionary anymore.
3. Idiot School Parking Lot Drivers: My daughter’s school has a very small, uncomplicated parking lot. Unfortunately, many parents at 8am have their heads up their ass.
Why for the love of all that is holy, or unholy, would you stop two feet into the entrance. Common-sense should tell you to pull all the way up near the doors. On top of your original cluster-fuck-dick-move, you then refuse to look over your left shoulder and almost hit me. For some reason it doesn’t occur to you a line is quickly forming into the street, so some of us with god given sense go around, and pull up all the way.
After my child is safely inside the school I quickly get home, and into the shower, so I can wash the dumb off that you dumped all over the parking lot.
I’m going to do some research in this town, and find out which body shop people like the most, and then I’m going to let your ass hit me. That will then give me an excuse to get out of my car, and burn you with rampant, verbal violations, without looking like a raving lunatic.
4. The Cinnamon Challenge: Up until last night I had no idea what this was. For those of you that are clueless to this cracked out shit, consider yourselves lucky. But if your curiosity gets the best of you, simply type in Cinnamon Challenge on YouTube and delve into the insanity. Basically the challenge is to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon without choking. So of course when a claim is floating around the internet that you can’t do something without the possibility of hacking up your life essence, everyone and their mom must make a video challenging the grim reaper. Honestly, I don’t believe the internet gods said it would kill you, but I’m just being extreme, because the whole concept is some fucktard bullshit. But hey, whatever it takes to pass the time. More power to all the participants. Good luck, and don’t let your mother find out.
P.S. If you want real factoids, the Cinnamon Challenge started back in 2001 and had been posted on a blog of someone I’ve never heard of. The earliest YouTube version was supposedly in 2006. The Actual dare of this genius game is to swallow without vomiting or inhaling the powder.
But I am not a fact fairy. I am a writer who enjoys putting a humorous spin on life. These facts were a courtesy.