I naively thought we could escape them. I was wrong. My hopes were that they wouldn’t be in a town with a population of 2000 people. Of course they’re here, I think to myself now. They’re bored, there’s not much to keep them busy in this town. There is no where I can go that is void of douchebaggery. Bullying and intimidation tactics are probably just a hobby for many around here. But as for myself growing up in San Lorenzo/Hayward California, it is doubtful anyone here could intimidate me. So messing with my kid will prove to be very unwise.
Nothing significant has happened to my eight year old daughter at school but they’ve made their presence known. After school the other day she tells me about a group of 6th graders walking by her group of friends taunting them saying, “little kids” over and over. My daughter was just reporting the facts of the day and completely unfazed. As she should be. First of all I am not only saddened by the fact these 6th graders who are “little kids” themselves feel the need to taunt 3rd graders but that they are grossly unimaginative. Seriously, what was the point.
As much as this incident is hardly worth mentioning, I still cannot help the over protective, murderous emotions, that it stirs up inside of me. The irrational beast that lives inside of me wants to walk the halls of her school, find these kids, give them a death stare as I walk towards them, and then smack’em all upside their little stupid heads. Just thinking about someone trying to belittle or tear down my daughter’s spirit brings on a wild animal state of mind. (Yes, I know, violence is wrong and not the way, and of course I would never act it out, but I’m a mother lion and if you’re dumb enough to stick your big toe into MY den, then expect repercussions. Repercussions to be determined.)
Before my daughter started Kindergarten we had many mean kid/bully discussions. I ran down a list of reasons of why bullies bully. I stressed to never let anyone make her feel like she is somehow “wrong.” Hopefully I have and will continue to give her every tool she needs to deal with whatever ridiculousness is forced upon her ears from people who don’t know any better. I try to be more effective than my mother with that sticks and stones bullshit. We’ve also gone over how no one has the right to put their hands on you in any way, shape, or form. If they do she is to tell every adult about the situation. And then I’m afraid hellfire may engulf this town but that’s neither here nor there at the moment.
This topic does tend to fire me up. I had an experience with a bully almost every year I was in school. When school ended I ran into some reformed bullies and got to know a little more about them. I feel I know the bully mind pretty well. I’m afraid that every little thing that happens to my daughter concerning negativity from other kids will dredge up the things that I went through. No one prepared me, or taught me how to deal with such things. No one told me what kids said to me wasn’t true. No one told me I was not the problem. No one told me I didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
I was a bullies dream. I gave them so much material. I was terribly shy, so standing up for myself was out of the question. I was overweight (always a sweet score for a bully) I wore big hideous glasses my mother picked out. My clothes were not very cute or “in style” because my family was financially handicapped. (Father was a lazy son of bitch who liked to gamble what we did have at the race track…eh whaddya gonna do.)
My spirit was eventually broken and the person I was meant to be was lost forever. What followed was a whole lot of bad decision making. But many soul searchings later I built a new person, who is actually pretty okay.
Now I vow to make sure my daughter is fully equipped with the mental and emotional tools to deal properly with any piece of crap she may have to come in contact with. It is my mission and my duty as her mother to make sure her self-esteem and self-worth stay firmly intact. This is done with a whole lot of communication. Talking before school and talking after school. So far, it really has been that simple. Besides somehow crushing a bullies soul with my mind, it’s really all I can do.
In the long run it’s really the bullies I feel sorry for. They’re really just sad and pathetic. They’re the one’s asking the world to mess with them. Karma is real and it will find you.
Some of them will reform, repent, and redeem themselves. Then good karma will say, “Thank you, now go, run along and have a good life.” Some of them will always be a bully in one way or another, and bad karma will simply utter, “You are so fucked.”