Adventures in Babysitting

I’ve been babysitting a 9 year old boy as a favor for my husband’s co-worker since June 7. My daughter is visiting her father’s family so this at least occupies my mind while she’s gone.
Watching Johnny is an adventure in itself. I kid you not, he was watching a program with a dancing segment and said, “That’s not a dance, I’ll show you a dance.” He then stood up and performed the macarena. Yes, the 90’s dance sensation. How this 9 year old boy even new this existed I have no idea.
Perhaps I will only babysit infants. Whaling and non verbal fits I can handle. Having the macarena forced upon me is unacceptable.
Making toast for him is a complicated ordeal. If I cut the slice into squares then it MUST have jelly on it. If I cut the slice into triangles then it MUST ONLY have butter.
I’m scared.
I took Johnny to our local park and discovered he enjoys urinating wherever he likes. I explained to him after he peed on the grass, that other kids could roll around in it and for the love of God use the park restrooms that were only 4 feet away.
I’ve tried to do the same things that make my daughter happy for Johnny. I said, “Hey would you like me to make some brownies.” Johnny replied, “Uh, what kind.” Usually I hear an excited reply of, “Yes!” This questioning was new to me. “Um, well, fudge or chocolate.” “I don’t like fudge.” He says. At this point, I’m over it. “They will just be chocolate. Do you like brownies?” I ask. After a pause he says, “I don’t know.” “Johnny, have you ever had brownies?” Looking up from the handheld video game he’s been playing he say’s, “Yeah, but I don’t know if I would like yours.” Alright, he has a point. Maybe it was just the fact of my own child not being around but him not expressing any excitement over the brownie idea deflated me. I was sad. It seems silly now as I write it out. But I obviously wanted my own child there and wanted to hear her pleasant tone. But seriously what 9 year old doesn’t like brownies. My brownies are awesome and he will never know .

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