Rapid heartbeat, can’t breathe, nausea, vomiting, sweating, light-headed, arms tingling, and entire body shaking. Oh shit! What is this?! Sitting up in bed I grab my laptop. Google all of the above. Oh Gawwwd! HEART ATTACK. August 5, 2012 4:00 am My husband wakes up because I start making some sort of whining, oh Lord I’m gonna … Continue reading »
Tagged with Slice of life …
The Deal
They’re walking all over my house like they own it, and I’ve about had it! The worst part is I’ve caught them in my bedroom going through my private things, and damn near taking off with a picture of my kid. I’m losing sleep, and I’m at the end of my rope. They are the nastiest house … Continue reading »
WTF Sad But True Photos OR How I Wasted My Saturday Morning #2
I couldn’t help but waste another Saturday morning skimming the internet for humorous, and absurd pictures. I think most of us are guilty of this, myself included. Phone calls, real birthday cards, you have to put a stamp on, or even typing out a real email…YUCK! I don’t even think I have another soul’s physical address. … Continue reading »
Adventures With My BFF The Whore
“Trina, we’re walking over blood.” “Yeah, I know, just don’t think about it.” Here we are, a 180 pound, 15-year-old white girl, (me) and a 200 pound, 15-year-old, black girl, walking deep in the heart of a bad neighborhood at midnight. Luckily, back in 1993 I could sometimes pass for a pale mexican, with dark … Continue reading »
Twat Tales
When you’ve taken an $8.99 pregnancy test from Target or the one from a Ninety-Nine Cents Store (Which I have bought and used before) and it comes out positive, your next step is to get it professionally done. By, like, you know, experts in the field of pregnant humans. Since I didn’t have any medical … Continue reading »
Maniacal Musings
– A flexing anus in my face. Nails trying to claw my eyes out. The dogs. They are the only alarm clock I need. – No matter how many times I look up the word “necessary” I cannot retain its correct spelling. Spellcheck just fixed it, again. My brain is holding some sort of grudge … Continue reading »
Girl, You So Crazy: Home Remedies, Food Substitutes, & Recipes part 2
Let’s dive right in. Home Remedies: When My Kiddie Is Sick It’s Ginger Root Time For years now, not only when I’m sick, but whenever I can work it into my busy day, I try to ingest a piece of raw ginger root. You can find this in the produce aisle of your local grocery … Continue reading »
Start Your Day The Wrong Way…With A Pair Of Elephant Sized Balls
I’m standing in front of a toaster. (Intrigued yet?) Oh, it’s also the size of a mammoth, and it’s one of the most medieval devices I’ve personally come across in my life. This large rusty metal contraption rotates about 40 pieces of bread at once, and gives birth to toast after a few rotations. The … Continue reading »
When Did I Start Using Meth?
Yesterday, I felt like I had been on my vitamin regiment for a week, but I checked where I marked the calendar, and it had only been 3 days. I then wondered if I was a time travelling demon, because I could have sworn it had been a full week. Anyhow, I can already feel … Continue reading »
Marrying A Man I Didn’t Like Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time #4: Crack Is Whack
In my mid-twenties, there was a time when I was determined to make my first marriage work, no matter what. (No matter how stupid, dishonest, or full of alcohol my baby-daddy was) I was convinced that it was best for our child if we stayed together. When she was still a toddler I had come … Continue reading »
Spam In A Can: A Love Story
Many people have yet to try this freakish godsend of Spam in a can. Just the mere mention of the word Spam to some people will bring on an over exaggerated mimicking of the vomiting process. My husband is one of those people. To some I say, don’t knock it ’till you try it, and … Continue reading »
What Up Gangsta
WORD! I came across this picture that my older brother took of me when I was around 9 or 10 years old. I had an overwhelming, bizarre desire to share it. No, I was not in a gang and yes I am holding a very large knife. No wonder I had some issues as … Continue reading »
