Tagged with Slice of life

Maniacal Musings Part Three

1. In October I came across a television show called, “The People’s Couch” on the Bravo channel. For thirty minutes I watched people, watching T.V., and having exaggerated reactions to reality and scripted shows. It was inane. This show was based on a U.K. program called, “Gogglebox,” which I hope was in some way more … Continue reading

Maniacal Musings Part Two

1. Don’t you hate it when your ex husband asks to live with you and your current husband, because he sucks at having his shit together? I know I do. And then out of the saintly-ness of you and your husbands heart you agree, but then you end up chasing him out like this… Buh-Bye! 2. … Continue reading

The Grim Reaper Makes For A Strange Best Friend

Rapid heartbeat, can’t breathe, nausea, vomiting, sweating, light-headed, arms tingling, and entire body shaking. Oh shit! What is this?! Sitting up in bed I grab my laptop. Google all of the above. Oh Gawwwd! HEART ATTACK. August 5, 2012  4:00 am My husband wakes up because I start making some sort of whining, oh Lord I’m gonna … Continue reading

The Deal

They’re walking all over my house like they own it, and I’ve about had it! The worst part is I’ve caught them in my bedroom going through my private things, and damn near taking off with a picture of my kid. I’m losing sleep, and I’m at the end of my rope. They are the nastiest house … Continue reading

Adventures With My BFF The Whore

“Trina, we’re walking over blood.” “Yeah, I know, just don’t think about it.” Here we are, a 180 pound, 15-year-old white girl, (me) and a 200 pound, 15-year-old, black girl, walking deep in the heart of a bad neighborhood at midnight. Luckily, back in 1993 I could sometimes pass for a pale mexican, with dark … Continue reading

Twat Tales

When you’ve taken an $8.99 pregnancy test from Target or the one from a Ninety-Nine Cents Store (Which I have bought and used before) and it comes out positive, your next step is to get it professionally done. By, like, you know, experts in the field of pregnant humans. Since I didn’t have any medical … Continue reading

Maniacal Musings

– A flexing anus in my face. Nails trying to claw my eyes out. The dogs. They are the only alarm clock I need. – No matter how many times I look up the word “necessary” I cannot retain its correct spelling. Spellcheck just fixed it, again. My brain is holding some sort of grudge … Continue reading

When Did I Start Using Meth?

Yesterday, I felt like I had been on my vitamin regiment for a week, but I checked where I marked the calendar, and it had only been 3 days. I then wondered if I was a time travelling demon, because I could have sworn it had been a full week. Anyhow, I can already feel … Continue reading